I read an article on Mamamia the other day that stopped me in my tracks.
It was about a woman named Gail, who hired a male escort to celebrate her 70th birthday.
She wanted to feel alive. Desired. Seen.
The comments gave me a confronting look into the way people view ageing and desire.
They exposed just how uncomfortable people still are with women owning their sexuality.
Most were shocked.
Many were fascinated.
Some said, “Good on her.”
But many — far too many — felt really uncomfortable.
And worse than uncomfortable… they were cruel.
When Age Becomes a Cage
I scrolled through the comments and was floored by how vicious they were.
“She’s just a bag of bones.”
“Liver lips.”
“She’s broken.”
“Delusional hag.”
Seventy. That’s all she is.
Seventy — and suddenly, she’s not allowed to feel sexual, sensual, or powerful.
But you know what I saw?
A woman daring to want more.
A woman defying the script we’ve all been handed about ageing gracefully —
as if grace means silence, invisibility, or giving up on pleasure.
Rules Are Different for Women
We’ve been taught that a woman’s sexuality has a time limit.
That it’s only acceptable when she’s young, thin, fertile, modest.
But after a certain age?
She should disappear gracefully.
Smile politely.
Desire nothing.
But what if she does want more?
What if she wants to feel alive, seen, magnetic?
What if she wants to move her body in ways that feel sensual and powerful — for herself?
A man doing that is seen as strong. Virile. Entitled to pleasure.
A woman doing it is seen as embarrassing.
Still Sexual, Still Seen
I’m in my 50s — and let me tell you, my desire hasn’t dimmed. If anything, it burns brighter.
Not because I’m trying to reclaim my youth, but because I finally feel free to own what I want.
I feel more powerful in my skin now than I did in my 20s.
More self-assured. More in tune with what I want.
Way more in touch with my sexuality.
And far less inclined to shrink myself for anyone else’s comfort.
And when I’m 70? I have no intention of switching off my light.
That’s only 18 years away.
I still have so much living, loving, expressing, desiring to do.
Why should that ever be a source of shame?
Women Like Us Don’t Disappear
I know a pole dancer named Greta Pontarelli.
At 74 she can hold a human flag — a move that takes immense strength and control.
Most men in their 20s can’t do this. Most never will.
But Greta proves that age has no limits.
She moves with grace, with fire, and with agency.
And she, like so many women I know, refuses to be invisible.
I see that same spirit every day at my studio.
Women walk through our doors unsure — not just of whether they belong in a pole class,
but whether they’re still allowed to take up space, feel sexy, or move in ways that are just for them.
Women in their 30s, 40s, 50s — even 60s and beyond.They’ve spent decades being told to dim down, cover up, shrink.
But pole gives them a new narrative:
You are still powerful.
You are still radiant.
You are still worthy of being seen.
Not for who you used to be.
But for who you are right now.
Desire Has No Deadline
And here’s the truth I want to shout from the rooftop:
Desire doesn’t expire.
Pleasure doesn’t have a deadline.
And age is not a reason to disappear.
So if Gail’s story made you uncomfortable — ask yourself why.
Because if a woman still wanting more at 70 threatens you, the issue isn’t her.
It’s the box the world has built around women — and how small it expects us to stay inside it.
But if, instead, her story lit something up inside you?
Welcome.
You’re not too late.
You’re not too old.
You’re not broken.
You’re just ready.
Written by Andrea Ryff, owner of Achieve Pole Studio in Sydney. Andrea is passionate about helping women of all ages reconnect with their power, confidence, and sensuality.
💫 Ready to Feel Alive Again?
At Achieve, we help women reconnect with their bodies, confidence, and sensuality —
not just in their 20s, but at every age.
If you’re ready to rewrite the rules for yourself, you’ll find your people here.
👉 Try your first pole class — no experience needed, just bring your curiosity.
